Do You Hear Me Now?

Those of you who watch TV will recognize the title as the tag line for a cellular phone company. In my world, this tag line is what my spirit whispered to me when I was finally ready to listen.

I tried running my life thinking I was in control. I was making the decisions and no one else BUT if it wasn’t for my parents, I would be great. If it wasn’t for my ex-husband, I would be happy. If it wasn’t for my boss, I would be a director by now. If it wasn’t for…

Hindsight being what it is, I know now that I was definitely NOT in control of my life because I kept giving control away. Be clear on this…if it’s someone else’s fault, that someone else has control of your life. YOU are allowing THEM to dictate your actions. That was a hard lesson for me to learn and when I decided to learn it, life suddenly became easier.

I finally stood up and said “I am responsible for my life and every decision made that brought me to where I am today, those were MY decisions.” Now, I can get on with the job of healing myself. I can’t change others, believe me, I’ve tried but I can change myself.

The more I healed, the quieter my brain got. The quieter my brain got, the more I could hear this little whisper. It was consistent, it was loving and I finally realized, it was me.

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Yes, I could hear myself now. What did the Self have to say?

I love you. You are perfect. You are everything. You lack nothing.

Sorry? Come again?

I love you. You are perfect. You are everything. You lack nothing.


With blessings


The Power of Intention

On Tuesday nights, I host a gathering called Soul Cafe. It’s a gathering of spiritually like-minded individuals and we provide a safe space for people to explore, heal, learn and grow on their spiritual journey. It’s quite fascinating and every evening is different. I love it!

This past week, we had a few new people join us and the question was asked “how is healing done?” The answer: with the power of intention. When I answered the followup question “is it really that simple” my immediate answer was yes and I was absolutely firm in my conviction.

Later that evening, I reflected on that part of the evening and ask myself is it TRULY the power of intention and is it TRULY that simple?

On my journey, I find it important for me to review my foundational truths to test if they continue to be so and if there are beliefs or fears connected to my foundational truths that must be healed or even if the foundational truth is still valid for me. Self-reflection is very important.

Here is what I found during this moment of self-reflection.

When I started this journey, I lived in a world where beliefs reigned and fears drove behaviour. I had to work hard for all my achievements. It was a dog eat dog world out there. Never rely on anyone for anything. There was me and them. Nothing was free. Nothing came easy…Any of this sound familiar?

With that mindset, life WAS hard. I hate to fight for what I wanted. If it came too easy, I questioned whether it was real. Goodness, I am exhausted typing what I just did and thinking what I remembered. Whew! No wonder I was always exhausted!

As I moved away from the distant past and reflected on the start of my journey, of course, I brought that mindset with me. I read books on spirituality. I found some methods just as complicated as “regular life” so I figured those methods were valid. I ignored the teachings that said “just be, just breathe.”  What a load of hogwash (insert disgust harumph here). I created a ritual of this step then that action then this mantra then that position then this saying then that pensiveness then this journaling then that…holy crap.  Exhausted once again and no further spiritual then I was before I started.

Before I continue, I want to make myself absolutely clear…there are rituals that people perform that absolutely resonated within their core being. I honour that. There are individuals who have the most amazing ability to be consistent with their traditions that brings them the utmost peace and all they desire for themselves. As they reach these levels, the whole world benefits and I am in awe. The story I am telling is MY story and my story alone. At the beginning of my journey, I didn’t have the personality nor the conviction I was even WORTHY of using the sacred activities and mantras of the great masters or those who had gone before me. I hope you understand what I am saying and choose to continue reading.

It’s obvious from my comments above, I failed miserably with the incredibly long and complicated ritual I designed for myself. On this journey of self-discovery I realized I needed simple, KISS even – Keep It Silly Simple. Yup, that’s what I needed. Baby steps.

Right, my first step was to just be.  Didn’t understand what that meant and didn’t know how to do it. Nope. Put that one aside for quite a long time and move on to the next step…breathe. (Okay, hopefully I was already doing that or I was in spirit form and didn’t know it) Indeed I was breathing but not very well. Just enough to keep my body alive but not enough to be grounded. I learned how to breathe and mastered the art of breathing to be. On to the next step.

Why do I tell you this story? Because at the end of my reflection from the other night, I realized every major step and healing in my spiritual journey was done when I set the intention. I didn’t say the action or healing that took place AFTER setting the intention was always easy but action and healing DID come after setting the intention. The more I evolved, the easier the healings. Now, when I set an intention, it manifests at an incredible rate. I know a number of you are also finding that to be true.

Coming back to the original question: how is healing done? Answer: with the power of intention.

Is it truly that simple? Yes.

With blessings


The Presence of Self

As I begin to transition into the fall season, I am made painfully aware of a couple of non-happenings this summer: 1. I didn’t get to the beach and swim at all and 2. I didn’t get the rest I believed I would get. Who’s fault is that!? Why, mine of course.

My intent at the beginning of summer was to cut down on my extra curricular activities and get out into the sunshine and warm waters, rest, meditate and just be. I certainly cut down on my extra curricular activities but I allowed my work to creep in and take over. It really was quite insidious. “I’ll just do this one more activity and save myself time tomorrow.” This was an often thought I pursued this summer and one more activity is what led to yet another activity and another. Now, the summer is gone.

I look on my desk and see the unopened “Learning to speak Portuguese” manual. Yes, I am learning (or at least planning to learn) Portuguese for my trip to Brazil to see John of God in the spring. I look around my office and see the dust bunnies that are now officially big enough to have names and be registered for their birth certificates. I also now look at my husband who has essentially been a widower this whole time. How did I get so distracted that I put work above my Self?  I don’t remember doing that in the past but I suspect I am in denial and this habit I formed many years ago. I am simply now recognizing the pattern.

When the presence of Self is felt, shifts must begin to happen. Self is patiently waiting for me to become aware, to reconnect, to decide priorities and what is truly important. Self is waiting to bring me back to me and minimize the distractions in my vibration. There will always be something to do, someone to see, places to go. There is a never endless list of “gotta do’s” and “gotta go’s” but the summer days of this years are extremely limited. The cold days and stormy evenings of winter are just around the bend.

How do we lose site of the Self? In my case, I am busy trying to “prove myself” to people way across the continent who are nice people but at the end of the day, truly don’t have my best interest at heart. Is it because I don’t have to prove myself to my husband and I that I put them on the back burner? Is it because I don’t have to “prove myself” to my Self that I push her even further down the “gotta do’s” list?

I have such respect for people who deliberately chunk out time in their day for self-care. As I transition into the middle part of my life, my body let’s me know on a regular basis that I need to take care of myself: regular movement, meditation, healthy eating and massive amounts of fun!!

Self, thank you for being there and never giving up on me. To my husband and son, I love you to distraction. Forgive me for putting you below the job. You truly are my world and the reason I get up every morning.

With blessings


Assessing the Journey

Every once in a while, I need to take a step back and assess what is happening with life. I find there are moments where I forget my life purpose and get bogged down in the every day of life’s unexpected hiccups. As I get older, I am more forgiving of myself when I take those detours. I have discovered these detours necessary to help me to assess where I am now as compared to where I used to be. It is very important to understand I am moving forward through life even though, there are times were progress doesn’t seem to be made.

When I have those moments of awareness that there is a “sameness” in my life, progress is happening. Awareness is when change can be made and I can begin deciding if the status quo continues to suit me. The question then becomes “what is it that I desire for my life?” What step can I take now to bring peace, happiness and joy into my life? Do I truly NEED to make any changes?

A deep grounding breath and quiet introspection is what is being called for.

At times, my life is chaotic and exciting. At times, my life is quiet and peaceful. At other times, chaotic and not so peaceful but all are based on choices I make for my life.

I still wonder at the power choice gives me. I still marvel that I can wake up in the morning and decide what I want to do with my life. Make not mistake, folks…you are always at choice too! If you work, make it a choice. The job is serving a purpose in your life at the moment or you wouldn’t do it. If you have to attend an event, make it a choice. The event is serving a purpose in your life at the moment or you wouldn’t do it. Are you sensing a theme?

Thank you for sharing your time with me. I hope you will come back and read another journal entry soon.

With blessings