The Last of Firsts

At 9:07 pm on Friday, March 29th, 2019 my husband Allan passed away and so started my journey as a widow and a new year of firsts.

First events by myself:  date night, anniversary, Easter, birthday, Canada Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Of course, included are smaller first like the first time I had an exciting event to talk about, the first big breakthrough in my new job, the first time I started a new generator, the first time I blew the snow out of the driveway, the first time I…

When I woke up this morning, I realized this was my last day of firsts.  As of 9:07 pm tonight, I can no longer say, as a widow, this is my first time…

As I write this post, I think about all of the other firsts I have had in life:  my first steps, my first word, my first day of school, my first crush, my first kiss, my first heartache, my first drink, my first marriage and subsequent first divorce, my first child (miscarried one before I had David), my first job, and so on.  Life is always full of firsts.

When did firsts become fearful?  Especially when we are always experiencing firsts.

There is a fear of change but when do we stop changing?  There is a fear of the new but when do we stop meeting new people and having new experiences?

Is not the human existence all about experiencing life and firsts and new?  Is not life about change?

I am sure there are people reading this thinking that not all change is good and I would challenge that thought.  Why must we judge change?  Why must it be good or bad?

Perhaps, change is simply the universe telling us we need to be on a different path.  Perhaps, change is required because we do not have the courage to make different decisions.  We are stuck in our belief system and we are willing to put up with the pain of the known rather than risk the magic of the unknown.

But again, that is a judgement on my part.  I see the unknown as magical because I know we are magical beings capable of harnessing the power of the universe to create the life we crave and desire.

It is with the magic of the unknown that I announce this will be my last blog on this website.  I am invoking change and stepping onto a new path guided by the universe.

My journey with has been incredible and truly a testament to the healing I have done over the last 10 years.  I humbly thank you for being here with me and I invite you to join me on my next journey as I transform again.  This time as an inspirational speaker and change agent.  I pray that sharing my journey will help others on their own.

With this move, I now get to experience another year of firsts.  How incredible is this human journey!!

With blessings and bidding you much love on your journey.



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