Am I the only one who loses sight of priorities? It does not take me long to write a blog so why am I not finding the time during the day to get it done? Sure, I could come up with a number of excuses as to why I have not blogged for such a long time but I am not about excuses for myself. I am about truth and if I am being truthful, it is really because I was tired.
Emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually I was tired. I realized I have been running on high flight or fright mode for almost all of my 50 years and it finally caught up to me. I couldn't keep up the pace and my entire being told me so. The way it told me was by refusing to move anymore. I was witnessing some depression. I am starting to sleep in later and take naps during the day. These activities are highly unusual for me, I now flop into bed early and promptly fall asleep. A few nights ago my husband had an entire conversation with himself only realizing I was asleep when I didn't put in the required "yes dear", "no honey", "that's very interesting." (Don't misunderstand, my husband and I have extremely interesting and intriguing conversations, just not that night.)
It is important from time to time to take stock of my priorities. It startled me to realize that my self was excluded from that list. How come? Self-care is one of the primary teachings of mine and is a subject I promote to everyone. Healer, heal thyself, right? Not only was I NOT top priority on my own list, I was not even on it!!
Did I love myself as much as I loved everything writing, spiritual, mystical, shamanic, etc? The answer I came up with was a firm no, I did not! Now, I was getting to the heart of the matter. I still have something to heal around self-love and when I began listening to my body and its needs rather than ignoring it or drugging it with food as I have done in the past, I realized how imbalanced I am.
I healed a great deal spiritually, emotionally and mentally but physically, I was still needing to do a lot of work. I have branded 2016 as the "Year of the Body" and my focus will be to (1) put myself on the top of my priority list (2) focus on the activities that bring me great joy (3) do the necessary in my job to ensure I remain employed (something else to heal here soon) and (4) release that which no longer serves me..
With renewed clarity and priorities, I am off to walk my dog, take a nap, write my new book and oh yes, maybe work for a few hours. Yup! Sounds good to me.
Have a blessed day!