For as long as I can remember, I had envisioned myself on stage speaking to many people. When I was younger, I thought I was going to be a great singer until I realized I could sing well enough to be in a choir and not as a soloist. Up until recently, I thought I was going to speak on stage and share stories, healings, teachings to accelerate healing for many however, last night, I realized that was not true either.

For a few years now, I have known I am an extremely sensitive empath. Prior to this realization and without awareness, I voluntarily carried anger and other emotions that belonged to others for close to 40 years. It was not without difficulty that I managed to clear myself of these painful emotions and forgive myself for carrying these emotions knowing how each affected my life is some way.

I had learned to question every thought, every emotion and every physical ailment I was having to determine if any belonged to me and if so, I healed it. If not, I would clear it. While this sounds simple, I somehow managed to exclude some thoughts from the microscope and being on stage was one of them.

Last night, however, the planets aligned and I had the vision of speaking from stage firmly planted in my mind's eye with a message to explore this vision...was it mine? The answer: NO. I was once again carrying someone else's vision and at some point in my life, decided to make it mine.

This would explain why every attempt down the road to public speaking failed and would never flow gently and smoothly. When trying to determine if it was in the highest good for me to hold conferences or public seminars, for the most part, I would hear no. The odd time I was given permission, the turnout would be small, about 8 people and my ego mind would judge the turnout as a disappointment. Now, of course, I can see the significance of those individuals and the impact they have played in my life. For this, I am very grateful however, this does not negate the struggles I had with making my dream of speaking on stage come true.

With hindsight, I am being reminded once again to check every thought, emotion and physical ailment to determine if each are mine or not. This is a reminder I will not soon forget.

I am grateful for the insight about my vision of speaking on stage because it means the struggle can now end however, I am also saddened by the insight. The dream of speaking on stage has been with me for many years and it now feels like a part of me is missing. I know that in time, this will heal but in the meantime, I am choosing to mourn the loss of a dream.

I am confused and disoriented. I am at a loss for how to move forward in life since I had focused so much time and energy on a dream that was not mine. I will do as I normally do in times such as these and that is to go quiet. I go within to cry the tears I need to cry to release the dream and heal what is connected to the lost dream. I do not know how long this process will take and I am willing to allow myself the time necessary to process as I need to.

I ask you...what dreams are you holding on to that are not yours? Are you struggling mightily to make your dream come to fruition? Are you willing to put your dream under the microscope to determine if it is in fact yours?

While the process can be painful, I assure you, it will be worth it in the end.

Have a blessed day and I wish you happy dreams.

With blessings
Sharon
 


Comments

barb richard
02/11/2015 12:39

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12/12/2016 19:03

The sad part about being an empath is sometimes you absorb all the negative energy of the people you emphatize with, or the people that harm them. It is important for an empath to gather enough strength to beat any oppressor and not get overly affected by the situations she cannot change. If we are strong, that's the time we can also give strength to others. Keep doing what you do best. You inspire others.

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Racheelle Daigle
02/11/2015 19:35

I am learning so see the manifestation of a dream under dfferent eyes. what i think is a failur as it did not show up in the way i dreamed is interestingly enough present in an other form. speaking on a stage vs writing on a blog. is it not communicating your message to an audience none the less?

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Success is what you are and what you spiritually feel, it is nothing obvious or really showing. That could mean, the better you do pray and be, the more genuinely successful you are.

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Useful information lot of new thing getting a full of chance and make it easy to understand.

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08/08/2016 11:39

You don’t have to worry about that you can set a new dream with your desires. We are feeling tough and helpless when we are losing the relation that is having nothing alternate in this world. Hope you will share more.

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31/01/2017 12:19

Don't lose your ability to dream. This makes us endeavour for more.

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