When I was young, 32 seemed to be old and a huge landmark. Little did I know the time from young to now seem to go by like a flash. Of course, like everyone else, when I was young I wanted to be older and now that I am older, would I want to be younger again?
The answer to that is uhmmm....no, actually I wouldn't.
I love all of the healing I have done. I love my husband and son and the peace I have found with both of them and myself. If I go back to being younger, it means I would have to heal it all again. Or would I?
One of the games we often play with ourselves is "what if..." What if I hadn't married my first husband? What if I had stuck to my beliefs about not getting married and not having children in this lifetime? What if I'd had the courage to join the U.N. as I had been encouraged by a teacher in high school? What if... and on it goes. Pause for a moment and think about one of the burning "what ifs" you are holding on to. Think about the alternate choice you made. Would the outcome and path of your life have been any different? After all, the lessons you chose to learn didn't change regardless of the path you chose, did they?
The universe, being as clever as it is, would certainly have used any opportunity made available to help you learn your lessons. Would your life be different if you had chosen a "what if"? Probably. Would it be any better than you have now? Unknown. Would you trade your life for anyone else's? Definitely not. (One of my mentors told me long ago that if everyone put their troubles in a bag and you got to pick, you would want your own troubles right back!)
Why am I blogging about this? Knowing that my life is probably close to being half over, I am looking back and evaluating what decisions I've made. I am pondering the crone phase of life and what it brings to me. Once the reflection and pondering are done, I will then turn and face the next half of my life with more excitement than ever before because of the knowing of how amazing the universe is. I feel boldness growing as I shed the old and engage in the new. I feel calmness as I feel the hand of God supporting me.
Would I truly want to go back in time? I already know what happened. I am too excited about what is to come...aren't you?