As I continue to work with people helping them heal fears, blocks and barriers to moving forward, I find the most challenging people to work with are people firmly stuck in their own pity party.

I love everyone and pray for all to heal and live balanced lives and I know this is a choice they must make.  For years, I tried to drag a dead horse to water and push its head under trying to force it to drink and spring back into life.  Now, I know that effort is futile and never works.

Everyone has experienced life in one form or another and comparing the experiences is not fair because what one would perceive as easy to handle can indeed a burden for another to bear.  I have been told if we all put our troubles in one bag and picked someone else's, we'd desire to have our own troubles back instead.  We have all come to learn lessons.  We are all on our own journeys.

In my experience, I find the single most destructive mindset is one of self-pity.  Self-pity can certainly be overcome if one is aware of the potential for self-pity and we certainly all have the potential.  In my day, I have held beautifully colourful self-pity parties with cake, balloons and all the trimmings.  I had even invited a few friends who sometimes came along and wallowed in my self-pity with me.  Thinking back, I could have video taped those sessions and turned them in to "how not to" videos like "how not to live life."

Self-pity, however, is insidious.  It creeps up on you without awareness and firmly plants itself in your brain affecting your demeanour, your thoughts, your emotions, your actions.  Everything becomes a struggle and a battle.  You constantly have to fight for you what you get or fight to keep what you have.  Whenever there is a bump on the road of life, you become the instant victim and all of your life and life experiences are someone else's fault.  Self-pity can make you give your power to others who don't deserve it and you find yourself repeating the same self-destructive stories over and over again.

It is said the subconscious mind does not know the difference between a story and reality.  If you repeat the same stories over and over, the subconscious mind and body are reliving the same experience over and over again keeping you in the state of victim.  Does it mean you forget the stories?  What about the people who have hurt you and maligned you?  Don't they deserve to suffer for what they've done to you?

I do not know if you can truly forget an experience but I do know healed experiences naturally fade from your current existence meaning a healed experience becomes distant and not a story easily recalled.  If it is recalled, no emotion or thought will be attached to the story.  It becomes a story that just is.  As for wanting the people who hurt you to suffer, suffering only brings more suffering and continues to escalate.



10/08/2016 06:41

The way you shared the information of the victims is really great and amazing because I never able to see these type of things in my whole life. I hope it will give a lot of benefits in our life.

08/03/2017 06:33

I don't understand people who do self-pity most of the time. It's like someone's doing a "play-victim", when in fact, they are not. Self-pitying doesn't help you, and it doesn't even solve a problem. If there's a situation where you feel so down, prove yourself to everyone that you don't deserve to be in that state. Self-pity wouldn't help you at all.

10/04/2017 16:44

It is a bad position to feel yourself a victim. You need to change your ways.


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