For a long time, I didn't believe that I was important enough to make a difference in someone's life but importance is a matter of judgment isn't it? Individuals who influenced my life weren't important in the "big star" kind of way. They were important to me because I decided they were. They had no choice over how important they were in my life and I am sure they never even realized they were that important or influenced my life that much. That wasn't their decision or responsibility, it was mine.
That being said however, do you remember a moment in time where you influenced someone and you KNEW you were doing it? Looking back on that moment, given the choice, would you influence them the same way? I know there are moments I would like to take back and do over again but unfortunately I can't. I am hoping those people forgive me and replace the influence I had on them with something better.
I am strong proponent of facing and healing fears and beliefs rather than avoiding them with stimulants of any sort. I am this way because I know the effects stimulants (food in particular) had on my life and I desire to help others avoid the same pitfalls. There are people with valid medical needs for stimulants and I honour and respect that. For many people however, stimulants are avoidance of the issue at hand and while the stimulant will give you temporary relief, when the effects are done, the issue will still be staring you in the face.
I am watching the steady decline of a young person who has great potential and it breaks my heart. Yes, we all have choices we make and yes, we all have lessons to learn. I KNOW that and I live my life this way but that doesn't mean I like it at times. At times I want to physically shake people and ask them if they really know what they are doing! Wake up, I want to scream at them. Heal yourself and live in peace!! I wish someone had done that for me when I was younger. When people comment on troubles they are having, if I can help them, I will offer and then wait for them to decide to take me up on it or not. If they chose help, I am delighted. If they decide they don't need help, I love them unconditionally and step out of the way.
The young person who is the subject of this blog was introduced to marijuana in their early 20s by their best friend who had been using for a few years. This young person had been having problems at home and had low self-confidence so the use of marijuana became a coping mechanism. Over time, this young person began to use marijuana more heavily and more often and now, cannot function without a daily dose. This young person is pale, spends much time gaming (another avoidance mechanism), has a poor diet, is falling into sexually deviant behaviour, has very little energy or stamina and is very passive aggressive when dealing with life in general. It's always someone else's fault when something doesn't go right and they are abdicating their responsibility for their life. All of this because of the influence of their best friend.
Did the best friend know the direction the young person would be taking? I would say no and there is the crux of the matter. The best friend introduced this young person to a recreational stimulant not knowing the long term effect it would have on the young person.
Let's be clear on this. There is no blame or judgment being laid on either of these individuals. As I said earlier, I used food as a stimulant to avoid my own issues in the past so I dare not point a finger at anyone else. Also, knowing we all have lessons to learn, we all need teachers to bring those lessons forward for us and this clearly is a lesson the young person is learning. How quickly will they learn it? That is for them to decide.
The story above could have gone in a very different direction, couldn't it? The young person could have decided the stimulant was not something they desired in their life and said no. We are always at choice, aren't we? The young person could have decided to rise above the challenges in their home life and increased their self-confidence. There are many stories where people have overcome adversities. Again, the best friend could not have known the effect they had on their friend.
Unknowingly (or even knowingly) the most subtle of comments or actions you make can have a hugely profound effect of someone. Once again, you cannot decide which comment or action will trigger others and the direction they take so don't even try to analyze that. All you can do is ensure you are living the life you truly desire and be aware of those who are watching and following you.
As I re-read this blog, I am hard pressed to find a natural ending to this commentary so I will end like this: live a life you would be proud to share with others.